& Satisfied Wife & Mother
I've started this page for my sons for Father's
Day 2002. It is the differences between a husband & wife (and among the
children and relatives, etc.)...and becoming aware of them and learning to appreciate and
cherish them...that lead to the joy of "1 plus 1 is greater than 2". And, as stated by King
Solomon (who God granted more wisdom than any human would ever again have and who had more
things and sex partners than we can imagine) in Ecclesiastes 4:9, "Two are better than
one...". The Gospel of Jesus is ALL about right relationships [HERE].
All humans are born with a birth
defect...we are each naturally born into sin. The "natural human" enters
into sin naturally because he/she is born "fallen". The cure must be supernatural! Abe
Lincoln said, "No man can consider himself poor who had a Godly mother!" Do you want your
wife to be a "Proverbs 31" woman (Proverbs 31:10-31)? Her becoming that
will depend on you and our Lord!
God devised His own coming to earth as Jesus, the
only sacrificial, red-blooded "animal" pure, righteous, and worthy enough to substitute and
die in atoning payment for all of the sins of all of mankind. And Jesus
obediently stooped lower than any of us can imagine and was spit upon, defiled, and killed on
the cross...all to become the basis for correction of the human-to-God sin defect so that
every human thereafter would have a choice: "yes" gives an empowered life (of the
Jesus follower...check it out) for
the "walk" on earth and an eternity with God in Heaven. By default or choice, failure to
chose "yes" almost certainly gives self-centered misery on Earth and distance from
love (God is love...quick definition & then read
Part of the good news (see the rest) is that the choice is simply
"yes" or "no" (not "wait" or "maybe"...or anything but "yes" is "no"): yes I will believe God
did this and I will accept Jesus as my savior and invite Him to be Lord of my life. Upon a
true "yes", the "new Jesus believer" is "saved" & immediately baptized by the
supernatural incoming & permanent indwelling of the Holy Spirit. The new believer
undergoes a new birth...is born again. This time without that birth defect...that "fallen
state" is something like cancelled, and you have the power to resist sin...no longer
automatically a sin slave. You can cast an evil spirit out in the name of Jesus because Jesus
is now your Lord! You have the ultimate internal counselor, guide, and teacher...the Holy
Spirit. One now becomes able to begin the process of fully appreciating that our daily and
hourly battle is against Satan...against evil. And we have the divine internally indwelling
ally & power source.
Whether men want to believe it or not, there is a
God; and He created man and woman according to a blueprint that has not really changed for
10-15,000 years. Among all created beings, adaptation takes place slowly. Continuing with the
momentum of eons of adaptive instinct, men are powerfully drawn to "DNA" (looks, sex, mating)
and women are in search of protection and provision. Modern notions and customs
can temporarily distort the relationship inter-workings, but they can not abruptly change the
blueprint wiring diagram or its functional circuits. In fact, as of mid-2015, I know of no genetic differences having been found between males who favor female "mariages" and those who favor male "marriages". Real love comes from "dying to self"
(getting rid of your self-centeredness) and is the greatest reflection of the success of the
relationship. In fact, 1972 Andes air crash survivor Nando Parrado, concluded that the true
opposite of death is love. Success requires skills and knowledge. We have each been granted a
different "bag of tricks". How are you alike & how do you differ from your mate? See the
groupings of born and bred differences, below.
As your "vertical" relationship (with God,
Jesus, the Holy Spirit) improves/increases, it becomes proportionately possible to have a
real love in your "horizontal" (mankind) relationships!
*** I promise you that, if you have a
problem in one or more important horizontal relationships which you wish so strongly were
better, then you have a "God-problem"...there is a vertical relationship problem! Therefore,
you need belief (AND the daily walk with) in Jesus and that new birth into a
new creation so that you have that new internal gyroscope to keep you on track...the Holy
Spirit. Are you truly a Jesus believer and saved? If so, have you backslidden? If not a Jesus
believer, why not? Are you willing to believe? If you are, you will find Him if you'll
try (see how to ask here)...I'll be glad to
- filial or fraternal love (average
parent-child love & loyalty; average brotherly love; friend love; "I'd give 'em the
shirt off my back!")
- passionate love (sexual; hormonal;
romantic; "feelings"; Hollywood)
- agape love (Jesus was the only one ever able to live fully & always in this plane. As humans, the best that we can hope for is to keep our eye on this prize and attain it once in awhile. Agape love is given no matter the
circumstances, is a high-minded love based on a personal judgement of the worth of it &
the deliberate choice to be that devoted to a person: dogged commitment even when
unappreciated; provision of security even when opposed...may even be a sort of tough
love; trust even beyond what the loved one can understand; dependable; provisional;
sacrificial; planning; doing beyond what is done for you & without concern for any
return; this is the Jesus-like love). While the Jesus Follower strives, hopes, and prays to love in agape fashion, few...if ANY...humans consistently attain that high plain of love with any regularity.
Chapman's Love languages:
- giving and receiving physical
- giving and receiving words of affirmation
(approval and praise)
- giving and receiving time to the
- giving and receiving acts of service (doing
things out of love)
- giving and receiving gifts
Smalley's 4 personality types:
[here as a component of
(most persons are a combination of Smalley's types)
- Beaver: a detail person; busy at tasks;
productive; a "doer"; get it "right"; "best".
- Otter: a people person; "hey look at me!";
knows many people.
- Lion: leader; take charge type; has the vision
and focuses on the goal; likes recognition.
- Golden retriever: just glad to be there/be
part of what's happening; doesn't need recognition and "glory".
What measures have you taken in your life to
discover yours? Hers?
Spiritual gifts (gifts from the Holy Spirit):
Though assigned for you since the beginning, and
though you may have been inclined in the direction of one or more, you don't have real access
to these gifts (I Corinthians 12) prior to "Jesus belief". The greatest spiritual gift to (and
the only one common to all believers) the believer is the indwelling of the Holy Spirit
(spiritual baptism) who will help you unveil & use one or more of the following Holy Spirit activated spiritual gifts to greater
& lesser degrees: wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miraculous powers,
prophecy, ability to distinguish between spirits, speaking in different kinds of
tongues, interpretation of tongues, and the gift of administration. Believers do not
all have the same gift or gifts. The graet evangelist, Rev. Billy Graham has said, "Being judgmental and condemning is not one of the gifts of the Spirit." And, in a given individual, these gifts pour forth "fruit of the spirit" (Galations
5:22-23...like fruit tree): love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, and self control. Notice how much these fruits correspond to virtues.
Jesus says that the believer will know the truth
and that the truth will set him/her free! A wise man correctly noted that no
one can have a "private truth". Personal (private) opinions...yes. What is true is
true everywhere...there actually are absolute truths! Freedom without moral restraint is not
freedom...that state is otherwise known as chaos. THE TRUTH is that Jesus is the Way, the
Truth, and the Life. We can not "do life right" on our own; we must have divine interventions
and divine blessings! And we must have that supernatural guidance to which we must be
obedient. Where is Satan...the ruler of The World...attacking you? How much have you given
in? Are you spiritually moving forward or backing up? How far along are you on incorporating
the above truths into your life and relationships? Are you being honest with your answers?
You can fool and con me...but, God knows what you are really thinking!!
Almighty richly bless you!
***give me your comments about this
check out the Highest
[posted 24 May 2002; latest adjustment 13 September 2015]